Setting: Baker College. Where anyone and everyone can go to find a program to find a job. You can become a truck driver, a computer geek, a vet tech, a massage therapist, and, yes, even a teacher. We have all kinds at Baker College. Baker College boasts that a remarkable 99% of their graduates are employed. They don't even deny (if asked, mind you) that some of those graduates are employed as, say, crew members at McDonald's. The point I'm trying to make is that when Baker College is the backdrop, I generally like to think that my cohorts and I are smarter than the majority. I'm stuck up like that.
Except for tonight.
Might as well kick me out of the program and stamp my forhead with a "future truck driver" sign.
I missed class last week. Many of you know why. Turns out that 2 of my cohorts, my buddies, missed class last week as well. As it happens, only 2 people showed up for class last week.
I'm behind in this class (Contemporary Lit), primarily because I seem to be incapable of doing the assigned reading from The Satanic Verses. I just can't get into this book. I like books that are different. But this book is beyond different. The prose is very awkward and I'm having a hard time making sense of it. I'm pretty sure that people who say this book is genius don't get it and are just trying to look smart.
Tonight, only 4 people showed up. My two cohorts, one of the guys who made it last week, and myself. We were off our game. None of us had completed the assigned reading. We were very open with our instructor about this.
He continued to force us into analyzing the reading anyway. I like him. I have a little crush on him, I think. He's a dork. It's distracting. Alas, he is married.
He was struggling to get us to participate. So much so that when it was break time, his words were, "I need to take a break."
He tried to engage us after the break by giving us a VERY simple group exercise. We talked about metaphor, simile, and hyperbole. Elementary, right? WRONG!
We, as a group, were merely to find an example of each of these in The Satanic Verses and to write, as a group, an example of each about the author of the book. It was torture. It took us something like 20 minutes.
Our teacher actually asked us if we were English majors.
I tried to engage myself in the lesson, but I couldn't even bullshit. I can always bullshit.
It can get very quiet in a class when there are only 4 people present and no one can remember what "alliteration" is. For god's sake, what the fuck was up with that?
Maybe we were all on drugs. Is there a drug that induces stupidity?
That was a superfluous question. See? I'm an idiot.