I'm finishing the typing of a biographical criticism of Sophocles' Oedipus Rex and I couldn't resist sharing a super funny video (if you're familiar with Oedipus Rex, it's funny) my teacher showed in class last week.
Okay, back to typing.
Today's Sex Blog Thursday index can be found here.
Words. Powerful, sensual words.
This is about how much I love words and, what's more, how big of a turn-on it is when someone (preferably a male someone) knows how to assemble words into intelligent sentences, intelligent sentences into powerful paragraphs.
Today, three men whose writing makes my stomach flutter have agreed to allow me to post a few of their sentences so I can objectify them for your reading pleasure.
Disclaimer: the sentences I post here are not erotic in nature. However, they have the same effect on me as erotic stories do on some of you. I'm a geek. And I'm proud of it.
Before I share, ever mindful that I am a future English teacher, I have to give you a lesson on some rules of language that my man-victims have such excellent command of. I'll be brief, but if it bores you, skip over it. You've heard of this stuff before but perhaps you weren't aware of the fact that it just might get you laid someday.
3 Rules of Language
Semantics deal with meaning. Semantics is about being mindful of a word's denotative and connotative meanings when choosing how to express thoughts and ideas. This also extends to larger units, such as sentences. Sentence meaning (again both denotative and connotative) can be dependent on how words are combined and arranged. My favorite writers choose words and form sentences to evoke reaction.
Pragmatics govern sequence. They inform us as to when it is necessary for us to respond to something, what type of response is necessary, and what type of response is appropriate. The fine art of flirtation is all about pragmatics. Tentative now, aggressive in a minute, when we flirt we are drawing upon our knowledge of pragmatics.
Syntax (saving the best for last)
Syntax is the grammar stuff. I am a grammar freak. Syntax is at work when we put words in a certain order so that they make sense and "sound right." The best writers push syntax to the limit, toying with this position and that. Good syntax in writing is the guiding force in leaving an impression on the reader.
Okay, enough of that. Seriously, I get excited just talking about it. Before I share my man-victims' work, I have to give thanks to those friends (and you know who you are) who correct my spelling and grammar when it falters. This is also a big turn on.
In one of my favorite blogs, This one also has an unhappy ending, Part 1, by Dave used to be carsAndFence, there is positively no shortage of delicious language. In fact, I had immense trouble picking my favorite sentence. This man is a writer. However, I had to choose one and the biggest reaction came from:
"The finger I place on Daisy Miller is part of a lie."
That Guy Duncan's blog is the first I ever subscribed to over a year ago. It continues to be one of my absolute favorites because Duncan knows how to use his words. One blog he wrote a while ago, Snow, spoke to me. In fact, it tucked me in every night for a week. Sorry, D, I can be obsessive. You really have to read the whole thing, but I'm not sure you'll be able to as Duncan does a lot of "friends only" filtering. Here's a sentence:
"The snow has kidnapped your voice, taken your sounds to a fortress of cotton and nothingness, leaving me without you."
Since I already have it up, I'll probably go ahead and read it before bed tonight ;)
Last, but not least, is Doctor Jones. In his Random Rants blog, he dedicates a good portion of the tail end of the blog to his search for his ideal mate and what he'd like to do to and for her. When I read it, I wanted to be that girl. That's how powerful it was. I immediately sent him a message that said something along the lines of "Here's my phone number. Call me, I'd desperately like to have phone sex with you." No, I didn't. But I wanted to. Again, hard to pick one sentence:
"I dream of watching all of the Academy Award best picture winners together and having vivid discussions that color the night and set our minds aflame."
Okay, reading that blog again in the middle of the day when my son is at home was a bad idea.
You all get it, I hope. A big "thank you" to my man-victims for letting me put your words here.
Last night was my annual trip to the horse races in Canada.
I love the horse races. If you've never been, you don't even know. I liken the trip to a pap smear. I have to go every year. Only it's more fun. The races, not the pap smear.
There were supposed to be 9 of us. 3 had to drop out. Mostly, the night was spent with my brother, his wife, and Todd's sister. Sara and Mike were also there, but they sat indoors where the rest of us like to be track-side.
This is why:
I got a little tipsy. It was intended to be so. My brother drove. He's very tall and even in my mid-sized SUV (yes, I know how evil that makes me), his head touched the roof.
I promise to get to how much money I lost but, first, I have to rave about my family.
Over the past year, I've gone through some positive transformations. I'm very happy and I know that I'm "on the right path." Last night, in my somewhat alcohol-induced haze, I felt things. Two things.
I'm happy knowing that, despite the divorce, I will always remain close with Dawn. She will always be my family.
Second, Chris and Treasure no longer make me want to vomit. Chris and Treasure really, truly have managed to be in love for the entire time they've been together (12 years?). Normally, I would roll my eyes and be uncomfortable with their affection. This probably is because I've lacked that level of intimacy in my own life. I don't really feel like I lack it anymore. Now, I just feel like it's something to aspire to. I want that with another person. Perhaps I won't shove my toes into his mouth in public, but they love each other and I'm officially okay with however they choose to behave. This is a big step for me.
I was happy last night.
I left the States with $50 USD and came home with $34. I usually like to come home with the same amount that I left with, even after drinks, programs, and bridge fare. I didn't do as well at the track as I usually do, but in that money that I "lost," I have to factor in the alcoholic beverages that I consumed. Typically, I like for my modest (I'm quite a conservative better) earnings to cover my drinks. Not the case last night. However, afterward, I had $10 CDN and I needed to get rid of it, so I played the nickel slots as the racetrack also has slot machines. After approximately $.50, I won $16.44 CDN. I turned $10 into $26.44. This pleased me greatly. I would have stopped having won $5. That's how conservative I am in these matters.
Bottom line: horse races good, Melissa happy.
And my family is the best.
I take my Diet Coke very seriously.
My only addiction is Diet Coke. I love it, I need it, it makes me whole. I mean it.
They say it's the caffeine. I can almost jump on board with that. I've tried to quit several times because I hate that I have to have it and each time I get migraines that don't quit. But if it was just the caffeine, coffee would make me feel better in the absence of Diet Coke and it does not. I like coffee a great deal, but it's no substitute.
So, I'm perpetually guilt-ridden and weak in my crutch.
Newsweek did a full 2 pages on the lure of Diet Coke in this week's issue. Not diet soda, Diet Coke. Seems I'm in good company.
Harvey Weinstein has to have a steady, ice cold supply at all times.
Bill Clinton, like me, loves his from McDonald's.
Jeffrey Katzenberg drinks it for breakfast.
Other people interviewed for the article drink dozens of ounces a day. It's the number 3 selling soda in the country.
This made me feel a little better. Still, it's bad for me, right?
Maybe not as bad as I thought.
Studies that indicate that it may cause bone loss are inconclusive and apply to all cola, not diet specifcally as I had previously thought.
The acid may erode tooth enamel, but not to the degree that it does in full strength sodas.
The sweetener has been thought to be detrimental to health, but testing has proven that it is not and a person would have to drink 18 cans every single day to reach the high end of the amount that the FDA has deemed acceptable.
So, Diet Coke drinkers unite! Drink up, guilt free, you're in good company.
P.S. My fix of fountain pop for the day costs between $1.20 (44 oz at Speedway) and $1.70 (32 oz at McDonalds, which tastes better) each day. To be fair, that's just the fountain pop. I usually have a 20 oz bottle of it sometime during the day. So, it can get expensive, but it makes me happy and it's alot cheaper than fixes of the illegal variety.
I tricked you with that title. Helena Bonham Carter's cleavage is a very small part of what I'd like to discuss today. And we won't be discussing it until the end of this blog. I apologize for this deception. (No, I don't.)
I had observations today and what I really want to talk about is the library. Then I'll get to Helena Bonham Carter's cleavage, I swear.
The school I'm observing at is a small town school and the junior and senior high schools share a building, though they are separated within. Resource rooms like the library and computer lab are centrally located as both schools share them.
Today the British Literature class I'm working with had a project in the library.
The library was larger than I expected it to be, given the size of the school. When I got there, I did the obligatory dialogue with my supervising teacher and as she went off to answer questions, I decided to ignore the students and browse the library. (To my credit, the assignment was simple and it was, after all, my last day as an observer. Naturally, I should get the opportunity to explore the library.)
The library was sparsely stocked. Bittersweet. Each shelf was only half full. Essentially, it had the inventory I would have expected spread across a space that was twice the size I expected.
I don't like to see lonely bookshelves.
As I was browsing, trying to familiarize myself with the resources so I would know what I have to work with when I begin my student teaching this winter, my belly began buzzing with excitement.
So many good resources. Biblical atlases, volumes on classic literature and mythology- some of which I'd never heard of, periodicals, etc. So many things that I want to learn about.
I found myself with a binder full of journal articles about problems in education. I had the binder laid atop a bookcase. The little pouch that is my lower abdomen (the little pouch that I have grown to love) was pressed against the bookshelf as though I was going to melt into it and I was steadfastly reading- by choice.
I've been distressed that as much as I have always loved to read, the sheer volume of reading I am required to do for all of the classes I choose to load upon myself has really made me cringe at the thought of reading for pleasure. I try to carve out time each day but I have no interest in reading.
Yet, there I was, choosing to read about something I have to read about every day and normally despise. Just standing amongst all of those books, there were so many I wanted to grab, it was hard to choose.
It made me think of what some education theorists contend is the only way to make learning in the classroom meaningful: teachers should let students choose what they want to learn about. I can't agree fully with this as once I begin teaching, there will be curriculum that I have to follow if I want to keep my job. But I have to be mindful and ensure that I'm taking detours to meet student interests.
Obviously, the biggest reason I can't wait to graduate is my craving to work, to be productive. Also, I want my reading back. I want to choose what I'm going to read. I don't want piles of books on the dining room table containing chapters upon chapters of material that I have to cover by tomorrow.
We're running out of time and I promised cleavage.
Back in the classroom, one of the classes was watching Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. I watched that movie as a senior in high school and hadn't seen it since. Oddly, the thing that I remembered from it was Helena Bonham Carter's awesome cleavage.
So, you can imagine my delight when my supervising teacher paused the movie and said, "Check out the cleavage in this next scene" to the class. And they listened up and paid attention. You may argue that this type of commentary is sending a bad message but I was just excited to see that my sense of humor will translate with this age group.
Like my experience in the library, it can't be all curriculum, curriculum, curriculum. Sometimes, I have to let the students loose to make their own discoveries and other times, I have to be human and acknowledge that I see the same things they do.
And now, you can see it too (I couldn't find any Frankenstein photos that did her rack justice):
Helena Bonham Carter's cleavage in In Fight Club:
The upcoming Harry Potter movie:
Also, she's an excellent actress.