Monday, October 11, 2010

"We're standing still, JENNY!"

I could actually get in trouble for posting this and I may have signed something somewhere along the way promising to never do so. Legalities.

One of our country's major retailers trains its employees by using a fictitious family headed by Jennie and Mike. Naturally, they have two children (a boy and a girl as their good luck would have it) and a dog. I don't recall the names of the children or the dog.

Since we all know that the moms do most of the family shopping, our major retailer focuses on Mom. Jennie.

It is taboo to say "We have to get this stock out to the floor so the customer can buy these sweaters at the sale price." Instead it's, "Jennie's sure going to be mad if she comes in to buy this sweater and it's not on the sales floor!"

Everything is about Jennie and the employees at every level talk about her like she's a real person.

But she's not and why doesn't this hypothetical talk sound ridiculous to anyone else but me?

What kind of people have conversations at work naming Jennie as if they've met her and competing for the best hypothetical situation to drop Jennie's name?

"We need Jennie to open a credit card today!"
"Jennie's average sale is going to be $92.04!"
"The out of stock report was done Sunday so we have those jeans in Jennie's size and she's not going to have to go somewhere else!"
"Jennie is going to love this jacket!"


One time, upon trying to convince a customer that the sweater in her hand was the exact shade of red she was looking for, the salesperson was unsuccessful and the customer walked away unconvinced and deposited the sweater on the nearest table.

The salesperson turned to the closest stockperson and said, "Jennie's so fussy!"

The stockperson waited with a baffled look on her face to see if the salesperson was making some sort of humorous quip about this ridiculous Jennie business. Alas, the salesperson was completely serious.

The stockperson is more determined than ever to never use the name "Jennie" in a sentence and to never, ever make friends with someone named "Jennie." Particularly if her name is spelled with an "i-e" at the end.

I'm reading:

I'd like it better if it wasn't cutting into my Harry Potter series re-read. 39 days until the new movie!!!