Monday, January 15, 2007

Snow Day

In inclement weather, I only check the news/ radio for school closings if, when I go out to warm up the car, I determine that said weather is indeed inclement enough to have school cancelled. Not the case today.

Yet, it was the case, as Jenna's school was mysteriously deserted this morning. The poor girl almost cried. She loves school. Like mother, like daughter.

My mom called to see if I would have school tonight, as she is the Monday night babysitter. It hadn't occured to me that I would not have school; but, upon calling, I do not. As my homework is done through tomorrow night's class, I'm blogging. The kids are singing along with Kidz Bop. It's torture.

It's always nice to have snow for Christmas, but it's not the best predictor of whether it will snow. Silver Stick Finals is the best predictor, hands down.

I have always had to shovel during Silver Stick Finals. I can't remember ever not doing it. Seven months pregnant... baby in the house... 2 babies in the house. It never fails to snow during Silver Stick Finals.

I love to shovel snow (seriously), but during SSF, it has been a huge source of resentment. That would be, of course, because of the perpetually absent husband. Two weekends out of every January, Thurs-Sun, he would disappear. Gone.

Sometimes he would come home at night. Mostly not. I was outwardly supportive, inwardly not so much. SSF is part of his family's culture. They practically run the whole thing. As a family, they live at the rink during the two weekends of SSF. They get a hotel room, even though it only takes 5 minutes to drive home. When the night is over and the last game is played, they migrate to the Brass Rail and get drunk, then get up at the crack of dawn and do it all over again.

He had been a part of it since he was born. So, in the sense that I didn't nag him for rarely coming home, soaked in the smell of alcohol and cigarettes when he did, I supported him. But, in the sense that I could have scheduled a babysitter for one night so I could go socialize with them, I did not support him.

I'm okay with this. He'll meet someone who actually loves him enough to share that with him. It wasn't me.

Now, when I shovel snow in January, I won't be experiencing the unnamed feelings of resentment that I have a husband who can't even drive 5 minutes to come home for a half hour so his pregnant wife won't have to shovel snow.

I haven't been pregnant in four years, and when I was, it was the best time of my life. I am one of the lucky women who thrives being pregnant, and I gained little weight- bonus! To me, there is nothing like it in the world to make a woman feel confident, sexy, and just plain feminine. I think I just wished that I had a husband who wanted to treat me the way I felt. Does that make sense?

Anyway, two things I have loved: being pregnant and shoveling snow. Just not concurrently.

Yesterday, I shoveled snow on the last day of SSF. Only this time, I got to do it with less weight. Emotionally. I had fun. I threw snow balls at the kids and tried to run just a little bit closer to make sure that the snowballs they threw would reach me. I watched them pull each other around in the sled. And I shoveled.

Despite the whole "broken home" thing, I finally feel like I have a real, working family. It's beautiful.

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