Tuesday, August 8, 2006


I have been thinking quite a bit about honor. Chiefly, I have been thinking about honor as it relates to commitments in ones relationships with others. No, this is not about the phrase "honor your commitments," although it fits. However, the aforementioned phrase is not what got me started on this rant.

Really, my thoughts here are about relationships between people. All relationships: marriages, partnerships, friendships, familial ties. I am contemplating the responsibility we have to other people when we make commitments to them.

For example, I have big commitments and little ones. I vowed to be faithful when I married my husband; I promised my daughter a trip to the new ice cream store by the beach when she had completed the first section of her summer workbook. I wonder if there is any difference in what kind of person I am when I do not honor a commitment regardless of whether it is a major or minor one. In the above examples, I am betraying my word in both cases. Perhaps the promise I made to my daughter seems minor in comparison to my wedding vows, but is it? I am still defacing the value of my word, my honor.

Being honorable is quite possibly the biggest virtue one can boast. When thinking of relationships, we always think of things like trust and honesty and communication and compatibility as paramount to success. Really it all comes down to honor. How crushing it must be to have honored someone for any length of time (though particularly a longer length of time)- be it blindly or with proper cause- and to find out that you (or me, or anyone) have not been treated with honor in return. Having to recall all of the times when you could have broken your word, when it would have been so easy, but did not, only to discover that it did not mean anything must be so belittling. Sure, you have your personal integrity. Still, there is a moment when a person must feel so naked to discover that something they value was contrary to what a person they care about values.

I feel as though, with being treated honorably as so important to me, I need to really examine my commitments with those that I care for, or respect, or admire and make sure that I have treated others likewise.

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