It's been a long time, if ever, since you've had the pleasure of reading one of my angry rants. The dry spell has ended.
For those of you who haven't picked up on it yet, ex-husband and I are not exactly friends anymore. When we stopped trying to at least pretend to be friends is beyond me. He moved to Fort Wayne, Indiana in April, a couple of months after his baby with the gf there was born. It's about a four hour trip, one way.
Early on, he implied that it would be expected for me to drive halfway to meet him with the kids every other weekend. I didn't have a problem with the driving so much as I did with the expectation. On the advice of my boyfriend, I confronted the issue head-on with ex-husband, which is sadly uncharacteristic of my communication style.
I told him that I would, for the benefit of my children, meet him halfway, when I could, but that he needed to recognize that this was a favor to him and it shouldn't be an expectation. Further, if I could make the drive as my work schedule allowed but was tight on money, he would have to chip in. I told him that I had been supportive of his move but that he needed to remember that he chose to go and it wasn't going to be easy.
I think I caught him on a good day because he was very agreeable with everything I said.
The last time he had the kids (Labor Day weekend), I was unable to meet him because I had to work, so he brought them all the way to Port Huron.
Today, I texted him that I would be unable to meet him halfway on Friday because I have to work from 2-10. He texted back to ask me if I could ask my mom to do it because he's celebrating Jenna's birthday on Saturday morning and doesn't want them to get home that late (he doesn't get out of work until 5:30).
I asked, she has other plans.
This made him very angry. With me.
After all, what do I expect him to do? I made a big deal about not always having extra money to pay for gas to meet him halfway every other weekend but I expect him to have gas to drive 16 hours total to see him for a weekend? He loves the way my convenience is all that matters! Wasn't there someone else who would bring them?
Since my sister is the only one I could think of who still likes him enough to make the drive, I told him "no" because I already know she works Friday afternoon/night. He can't even ask his mom because they've had a recent relationship breakdown and are not speaking.
He said he guessed he'd just have to leave work early so he could get them home by midnight. That statement was dripping in implied guilt.
I got a bit defensive and pulled the "I'm not the one who moved" card to which he blabbed the interrogatory, "So, that's how it's going to be now, huh?"
YES!!!! That's how it's been! Why should I feel bad if I can't meet him halfway?
I asked him why he was mad at me, I told him I couldn't see where I was at fault. I do what I can when I can, for the sake of the kids. I didn't have a dad, I want to help make sure they can see theirs.
He hung up on me.
For the love of all that is holy, someone tell me, PLEASE, if his expectations are reasonable and I just can't see it. Should I be requesting every other Friday/Sunday night off?