Dial-Up

It's the day where I'm really running late and my son can't seem to get his foot into his sandal quite right and, once he does, he quite literally drags his feet along the sidewalk to the car until I get frustrated enough to pick him up with my stronger arm so he looks like a defective rocket-ship sputtering in the air as I run as fast as my heels will allow.

It's like when my daughter has a soccer game and we have to be on the field in 15 minutes, only I forgot to wash her uniform promptly and now it's in the dryer, which I swear is taking 6 times as long to dry clothes than normal. (Is it okay to send her in damp socks?)

Or, when I'm really in the mood to go outside and light sparklers and twirl around like an idiot because it makes me feel young only it just... won't... get... dark.

That's right, bitches, I'm talking about dial-up. My modem/router thingy woke up on the wrong side of the bed Sunday morning and I did all of the troubleshooting over the phone with people who decree to know what the fuck they're talking about only to discover that someone is going to have to come out and take a look.

That someone was supposed to be here between 8 a.m. and noon today. Only they weren't and I had to go to class. So, I continue to be stuck with dial-up.

I have to get online because my American Novel class is online. And if I have to get online anyway, I have to check MySpace. And everytime I check MySpace there's a "New Blog Subscription Post" indicator. And then I get overwhelmed 10 years later when the blog page loads and I see that, not only are the 20 "new" blogs still there for me to read, but there are 10 more added to the list. And, if I want to read one, I'm going to have to wait 20 more years for that page to load.

As much as I complain about always being in a hurry and never having enough time, here I am, typing away, knowing that it will be 30 years from the time I hit "Preview & Post" until the preview page comes up. I'll be damned if I correct any mistakes as it will take an additional 40 years once I hit the final "Post" button for this blog to actually post. It will be absolutely amazing if that happens at all as clearly this dial-up situation will be the end of me.

*Sigh*