Once Upon a Tag

1) I am physically incapable of walking in a straight line.
I really have to concentrate to make it happen. My toes point outward like a duck. I'm constantly stubbing my toes.

2) I can only put 10 things in the washing machine at a time.
This includes socks, underwear, and wash cloths. Thus, I am perpetually "catching up" on laundry.

3) I have had the same best friend for almost 20 years.
We have always been close, she always gets me, and she'll always love me. It seems cheesy at my age to refer to someone as "my best friend," but it has been the most enduring, important relationship of my life, so I don't care.

4) Good grammar, vocabulary inventory, and diction are huge turn-ons for me.
Talk to me with big words and proper syntax, baby.

5) I've never done drugs.
I tried to smoke a joint in 7th grade, but it gave me a serious headache. I hate the smell. Also it reminds me of unpleasant childhood stuff.

6) My first car was a 1984 Cutlass Ciera.
When I was 17, my mom bought a new car and gave me her Cutlass under the condition that I pay the insurance myself. One day, the day after I brought home a report card with bad grades on it, I came home and my car was missing. She sold it to my aunt and uncle. Right out from under me, no warning. I'm still mad! You hear that, Mom? I'm still mad!

7) I've never had my heart broken (knock on wood).
I've only had 3 "major" relationships in my entire life and none of them ended in heartbreak for me. Is it okay to hope that I never have to worry about that? Do you think that's something that every person should go through?

8) Men with big muscles make me want to vomit.
I like some muscle on a man, but it absolutely cannot be bulky. Yuck. Stay the fuck away from me.

9) I love my life.
I'm a 31-year-old single mother, unemployed college student who carries anywhere between 20-26 credit hours all year long. Therefore, I'm poor, drained, and numb. But I know myself better than I ever have and, quite frankly, I'm awesome.

10) I would never, in a million years, be a stay-at-home mom.
I love my kids more than anything, truly. I'm so proud to be their mother. Yet, you couldn't pay me enough to stay home with them. I'm a person with a strong will to have an identity of my own outside of being a mother. I need to be productive.

11) I use a thesaurus no less than 10 times a day.
I have a good grasp on vocabulary, but I'm always looking for something better. Also, my favorite word in the entire English language is "ambiguous," I use it every chance I get, and I'd appreciate it if you did too.

12) I'm smitten with one of my MySpace friends.
He knows this about me, so I don't have to hide it. Poor kid.