A Good Title Eludes Me

Today you're getting four for the price of one. Happy/sad stew, if you will:

My mother is hard to look at right now. She found out a bit ago that she has pre-cancerous cells growing on her face and is currently at the tail end of a round of topical chemotherapy. It's like getting a chemical peel everyday for two weeks. She can't go out in the sun. She's not even 50 yet and today, as we were sitting in the shade planning for our camping trip next weekend, I stared at the varying degrees of skin erosion and thought non-stop about how much this needs to work so she doesn't have to go through it for nothing. Because, if she's just going to have to go through intravenous chemo, couldn't she have done it with every layer of her beautiful face intact?

***

I've taken up golfing and am horrible at it. I'd be even worse if we didn't play with special rules. When we want to use a special rule, we must say "I invoke-" and then:

"-the 5 foot rule!" If the ball lands anywhere between 5 and 15 feet of where we were standing when we swung at it, it doesn't count as a stroke.

"-the throw me another ball rule!" If our drive blows when we tee off, we can go again (up to 2 additional drives!) and not count it.

"-the mud puddle rule!" If it rained at some point and the course is damp, it will likely have puddles somewhere. If the ball lands in a puddle big enough to make a splash, as it would in a pond, we can remove the ball from the puddle and drop it, like we would if it landed in a pond.

"-the I should've got that in rule!" If that ball is only 3 inches from the hole and I still don't make it, I'm counting it as in. Period.

***

Today I said goodbye to my brother, his wife, and my nephews. They're leaving to make a new life in Tennessee. I know that's what people do, but it is so hard to see him go. No one in my family has ever left before.

***

Thursday I say hello to Grau Geist and Friday to Delilah. Yay for MyFriends and real-life meet-ups!

Did You Knows

I'm not very good at communticating my feelings to people I care about, I like it better if they think I have none and this is a tiny (probably generic!) collection of things left unsaid, past and present.

If you leave a comment, leave it as a "did you know."

Did you know...

If I were the one going, it wouldn't hurt half as bad as watching you go.

I'm glad I didn't meet you first. That's why I simply smiled when you told me you wish you had.

I want to hump your leg.

I've said "I never had a positive male influence while I was growing up" too many times, but I always did, even if you didn't follow all of the rules.

I'm happy because I don't feel like I need anything from you which gives me a free pass to simply be content and, well, that's pretty good.

You're the only person I don't have to elaborate with.

Somehow, you were never more perfect to me than in a moment when I couldn't wait to go home. I'm so glad home was always waiting for me in places you never would and vindicated that you'll never know what that feels like.

You are not alone, I made the same decision as you and I know it was the right one.

You are so very, very, very small.

I want to be you and each time I've ever said anything critical to you, that's why.

Looking up at you is one of the coolest things I've ever done. Someday, I will do it again.

I can't tell you everything because you are so GD judgmental. You're aware of this but I don't think you understand how much this keeps you from having truly rewarding relationships.

You drink too much.

Baby Talk, a BOGO

"Awen't you the cutest baby ever? Yes, you are! You sooooo smart!"

A brief sampling of some of the ridiculous things parents say to their new babies. Not wise-cracking doctors, though. Doctors say clever things to their babies, for example:

"Are you forming neurological pathways?"

Bahahaha! *sigh*

I spent the weekend in Chicago meeting my bff's new baby.

She's spending a significant amount of time worrying, in spite of her massive storehouse of knowledge, about the things that all new parents worry about. Should her boobs be bigger than a porn star's? If baby spits up, does he need more food to replace what is lost? Is she making enough milk? What do you do when he's not exactly crying but not happy, either?

And, the biggie: Why can't he stay exactly this size forever?

That one is causing her a bit of trouble in her post-partum emotional state.

It's true, when they get bigger, you take risks. One day, they're going to insist upon entering the school building alone, without you. One day, you're going to have the incredible urge to pick him up and squeeze him, precisely because he's getting so big, only to have him squirm from your grasp because he has something better to do. One day, you're going to remember how much you loved doing everything for him when you see him make his own lunch because he's hungry and recognizes that it's lunch time.

Still, if he didn't get bigger, you wouldn't get to see his face light up and his little arms reach up to you when you get home from a long day at work. You wouldn't get to see how proud he is to hold your hand and put you on display in front of all his friends when you show up to school for a field trip. You wouldn't get to blink back tears the first time he reads 43 words in a row from a book with no help from you.

I like them getting bigger.

*************

On that note, my daughter "graduates" from the fifth grade tonight. It seems like such a silly little ceremony but I can't help but think about the first time she walked into school without me, the thought of not being able to eat lunch with her everyday anymore, and the sight of her walking and giggling with her friends as she walks out to her safety patrol post.

When I think about when I started middle school, it seems like that time up through high school went by so fast and it will for her. And again for me.

Do I still wish she was little?

Nope.

She's the coolest kid on Earth and I can't think of someone I'd rather hang out with. She's my built-in perpetual date to museums and plays. She's the girl who will keep the conversation going in the car. She's the one I look at and see myself, only smarter, funnier, prettier. She's the one I've never wasted a second of my life being anything other than proud of.

Congratulations, Jenna.

Baby Talk, a BOGO

"Awen't you the cutest baby ever? Yes, you are! You sooooo smart!"

A brief sampling of some of the ridiculous things parents say to their new babies. Not wise-cracking doctors, though. Doctors say clever things to their babies, for example:

"Are you forming neurological pathways?"

Bahahaha! *sigh*

I spent the weekend in Chicago meeting my bff's new baby.

She's spending a significant amount of time worrying, in spite of her massive storehouse of knowledge, about the things that all new parents worry about. Should her boobs be bigger than a porn star's? If baby spits up, does he need more food to replace what is lost? Is she making enough milk? What do you do when he's not exactly crying but not happy, either?

And, the biggie: Why can't he stay exactly this size forever?

That one is causing her a bit of trouble in her post-partum emotional state.

It's true, when they get bigger, you take risks. One day, they're going to insist upon entering the school building alone, without you. One day, you're going to have the incredible urge to pick him up and squeeze him, precisely because he's getting so big, only to have him squirm from your grasp because he has something better to do. One day, you're going to remember how much you loved doing everything for him when you see him make his own lunch because he's hungry and recognizes that it's lunch time.

Still, if he didn't get bigger, you wouldn't get to see his face light up and his little arms reach up to you when you get home from a long day at work. You wouldn't get to see how proud he is to hold your hand and put you on display in front of all his friends when you show up to school for a field trip. You wouldn't get to blink back tears the first time he reads 43 words in a row from a book with no help from you.

I like them getting bigger.

*************

On that note, my daughter "graduates" from the fifth grade tonight. It seems like such a silly little ceremony but I can't help but think about the first time she walked into school without me, the thought of not being able to eat lunch with her everyday anymore, and the sight of her walking and giggling with her friends as she walks out to her safety patrol post.

When I think about when I started middle school, it seems like that time up through high school went by so fast and it will for her. And again for me.

Do I still wish she was little?

Nope.

She's the coolest kid on Earth and I can't think of someone I'd rather hang out with. She's my built-in perpetual date to museums and plays. She's the girl who will keep the conversation going in the car. She's the one I look at and see myself, only smarter, funnier, prettier. She's the one I've never wasted a second of my life being anything other than proud of.

Congratulations, Jenna.